6 Important Questions to Assess Your Relationship's Fate

Many relationships encounter challenges stemming from differences in values, communication issues, and evolving priorities, which can ultimately lead to relationship failure.

Rose Viggiano, a Relationship & Attachment Specialist, delved into this very question with insightful tips shared on her Instagram post titled “Is your relationship set up to fail?”

1. Do we want the same relationship structure?A lot of relationships fail because people do not desire the same things. Some want to get married while others prefer to keep things as friendship or casual. Some seek an open relationship while others want to spend their life with just one person. One may want children within two years while the other might want them later. All these differences often lead to misunderstandings and fights. Therefore, it is crucial to know what we want from a relationship and ensure that the decision is mutual.
2. Do I trust them? Can they trust me?Trust is crucial in any relationship as it serves as the foundation to keep it secure and thriving. Cheating, secretive behaviour, emotional disconnecting, and making decisions that are not mutual in a relationship, all lead to its breakdown. If these issues are not addressed and improved upon, the relationship is likely to end, leaving partners unhappy with each other.
3. Are we able to work through conflict successfully?In a relationship, conflicts are very common. But what matters is how we communicate during and after the fight. If someone acts mean or attacks during a conflict, or shuts down and withholds, it’s important to address and resolve these issues. Otherwise, resentment will grow and harm the relationship. For a secure partnership, it is crucial to treat each other with respect and kindness during the conflict.
4. Do we have similar values and hopes?Understanding your core values and finding a partner who shares them leads to long-lasting happiness. Establish a partnership where you both envision growing together, living your lives, and creating your desired future. Misalignment in these areas can strain relationships.
5. Are there financial issues affecting us?In secure relationships, it’s essential to have fairness and openness regarding money, despite our diverse backgrounds and beliefs. Both partners should feel at ease with how money is shared and spent. Money problems at the beginning of a relationship tend to persist and worsen over time.
6. Are we both working on our unresolved trauma?When conflicts arise, it’s often because our partner has triggered our unresolved traumas. In healthy relationships, both individuals strive to heal their past and respond without being influenced by it. If couples neglect this, they may continue to replay their past issues with each other.